Day 11 Practice: Being Yourself
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Quite often many of us are trying to be someone else: who we think we should be; who we think will be safe from the judgments of others, who we could be in order to get others to react to us in the way we want. We often judge ourselves, criticize, and hold harsh view of ourselves. And what this leads to is a trying to manipulate who we are all in the hopes of controlling our experiences, being safe or getting what we want. This way of maneuvering life is stressful and tiring. It drains us, even discourages us. It effects our self-image, motivation, and our attitude towards life. This mentality is why so many people are exhausted, running on empty.
Instead, what if you could be who you are, who you truly are without needing to change a thing? What if you could be comfortable and confident in your own skin? What if you could be the full expression of your love, joy, playfulness, creativity, generosity, curiosity, and awe? What if you could just be yourself, knowing nothing is lacking? What would this be like? Would life be easier… less stressful and exhausting?
So today, take a moment to acknowledge yourself, to acknowledge your efforts and your intention; a moment to acknowledge your goodness. Take some time to feel your value, worth, and beauty. And maybe explore what shift might occur if you encouraged yourself rather than attacked yourself when things aren’t going well? Consider what you might feel if you loved yourself rather than judged and criticized?
You might consider journaling or reflecting on:
What have you done recently that you are proud of? (small things absolutely count)
What are you grateful for about who you are?
What do you admire, respect, and love about yourself?
Disclaimer: all this kindness towards ourselves may feel awkward, inauthentic, uncomfortable, or undeserving but do stay with it. The practice of being yourself, with compassion and kindness is the most transformational work we can do, being of benefits to all those lives we touch, and most importantly our own.
“Don’t compare your path to anybody else’s. Your path is unique to you.”
“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”
“Many of us seek community solely to escape the fear of being alone. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.”
“Siting long enough, at some point nothing discovered could be a source for self-hatred.”
“It follows that I must accept myself for what I am before I can deliberately change it.”
“The picture we present to ourselves of who we think we ought to be obscures who we really are.”
“Have good trust in yourself. Not in the One that you think you should be. But in the One that you are.”
“Be wise. Treat yourself, your mind, sympathetically, with loving kindness. If you are gentle with yourself, you will become gentle with others.”
Dear One,
Please remember to….
Have a good cry when you need one.
Drink plenty of water.
Connect with compassionate others.
Accept and embrace emotions without clinging to them, even the good ones.
Find sun every day.
Serve others every opportunity you can.
Sleep seven hours a night.
Eat clean.
Play dirty (get in the mud, walk barefoot and sweat).
Remember your precious dead.
Feel grateful but don’t force gratitude.
Notice nature.
Try new things.
Pray and/or meditate
Find your special song.
Seek out those who made a difference in your life and tell them.
Build bridges between people.
Take a media break.
Treat yourself to a comfort each day.
Rescue an animal.
Buy a stranger a cup of coffee or tea, or lunch. Anonymously.
Start over again
With love, I’m trying…
Yourself
(excerpt from Grieving is Loving by Joanne Cacciatore)