Day 9 Practice: Mindful Speech
“Meditation in the midst of activity is a thousand times superior to meditation in stillness.”
Mindful speech is a practice that is much more dynamic than just sitting quietly in stillness, alone with our own thoughts and reflections. It is a dynamic practice that is available to us countless times throughout our days. And it can be very transformational. By being a partner, parent, daughter, sister, and friend, I cannot tell you how many times I have regretted my words; how many times I beat myself up or felt shame and guilt for what was said or done.
So, we know from our own experience that words (and silence) have tremendous impact on all those we communicate with. Our words and actions do matter. With mindful speech, we practice pausing, being more present, intentional, and deliberate with our words. We understand that we have a choice with what comes out of our mouths. And with this choice, we can either create an environment of peace and ease, of trust and safety, of hope and confidence, or the opposite causing harm.
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is take a few deep meditative breathes. I then intentionally reflect on how I want to communicate with my loved ones (esp. my teenage daughters) for the upcoming day. I remember who and how I want to be through my speech. And often returning home, I stop and pause in my car, being aware of how I walk through the door and hug my loved ones; being intentional of the words I choose to share. Taking these few moments throughout my day to be more mindful with my speech has had a tremendous impact on my relationships. Is it the perfect fix? No but it certainly helps as the natural consequence of this practice is less shame and guilt.
So, today I encourage you to be mindful with your speech: pause often before you speak, breath as you consider what you wish to share, remembering you have a choice in the environment you create with your words. I will leave you with a short, meaningful practice, easy to apply mindful speech: 1. Is it true? 2. Is it helpful? and 3. Is it based in loving kindness? If my words do not meet these three criteria’s, it is probably better left unsaid. 🙏
“The way you speak to others can offer them joy, happiness, self-confidence, hope, trust, and enlightenment. Mindful speaking is a deep practice.”
“Mindfulness is not a state but an action, a cultivation of openness, again and again in each moment.”
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?”
“The quality of our lives is directly related to the questions we ask.”