Lesson 2 The Practice: Thinking into Feeling
“Self-talk is overrated. Don’t think about doing it… just do it.”
Moving from thinking into feeling is a phrase I first encountered in yoga, and it has stayed with me ever since. It’s about transitioning from being caught up in the mind-made future or past to being fully present in the here and now.
How much of your day is spent living from the neck up- worrying, regretting, judging, analyzing, comparing, or trying to fix? The list goes on. When you get stuck in these mental patterns, have you ever stopped to notice how it feels in your body? Chances are, it’s not great—this mental loop often leads to stress, anxiety, exhaustion, or even burnout.
But what if you could step away from all that thinking? What if you could shift your attention from the busyness of the mind to the grounded sensations of the body? Could you reduce some stress, quiet the worry, and feel more in control?
The Thinking Mind: A Busy Machine
Let’s put the thinking mind into perspective. Dr. Fred Luskin, a prominent psychologist, found that the average human has about 60,000 thoughts per day. For comparison, we typically take around 20,000–26,000 breaths in a day—so that’s nearly three thoughts for every single breath.
What’s more, 95% of our thoughts are repetitive (telling ourselves the same old story = habits of mind), and an astonishing 80% of them are negative. This is what psychologists call the negativity bias, a tendency to focus on what’s wrong or what could go wrong. Sound familiar? Especially on the tennis court?
Mindfulness and Inner Dialogue
Mindfulness helps us recognize and shift this inner dialogue. On the tennis court, it’s easy to get hijacked by negative thoughts—“I can’t believe I missed that shot” or “I’m going to lose this match.” Sometimes it feels like we have a harsh critic living in our heads, saying things we’d never dream of saying to a friend.
When you catch yourself spiraling into self-criticism (i.e. being mindful of your inner dialogue), ask yourself:
Is this skillful?
Is this helpful?
Am I fostering the inner environment for positive performance?
Instead of berating ourselves, what if we approached these moments with kindness? What if we coached ourselves with the same encouragement and care we’d offer to a close friend or teammate?
The good news is that we can change this inner dialogue. Through mindfulness and neuroplasticity, we can rewire our brains. By consciously choosing where and how we focus our attention, we strengthen those neural pathways over time.
“Whatever one reflects on most often becomes the inclination of the mind.”
You Become What You Practice
Neuroscience now confirms this ancient wisdom: The more you practice something, the stronger those neural pathways become. If you practice gratitude, you become more grateful. If you practice relaxation, you become more relaxed. If you practice mindfulness, you become more present.
Could it really be this simple?
Moving from Thinking into Feeling
The quickest way to become more present is to shift from thinking into feeling—to drop out of your head and into your body. The body and breath are always present; it’s the mind that pulls us away into the future or the past.
When we direct our attention to the body or breath, we are practicing mindfulness. And when the mind inevitably wanders, the practice is simply to notice it and gently come back to the present moment.
One more important thing to remember: You are not your thoughts. You are the one aware of them. So….when you are angry, your awareness of anger doesn’t have to be angry. When you are frustrated, your awareness of the frustration doesn’t have to be frustrated. Get it??? They say awareness is like the sky that holds all the weather. Whatever weather pattern is happening, the sky is remains blue up above it all. And that’s the same for our awareness. We don’t have to be defined or caught up in what we are feeling.
Each time you step back into present moment awareness, you loosen the grip of your habitual thinking patterns that contribute to stress or anxiety.
“It was my letting go that gave me a better hold.”
The Power of the Pause
When pressure builds—whether it’s in a match or in life—our bodies react. Muscles tighten, breathing becomes shallow, and we start to feel overwhelmed. This is where mindfulness becomes essential.
By pausing, listening, and taking conscious breaths, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us calm down, recover, and reset.
“When I step onto the court, I don’t have to think about anything. If I have a problem off the court, I find that after I play, my mind is clearer, and I can come up with a better solution. It’s like therapy. It relaxes me and allows me to solve problems.”
On-Court Tip: First Feel, Then Think
During a match, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed, try problem-solving from the bottom up—starting with the feet and working your way up before engaging the mind.
Improve your footwork – Pick up the intensity with small, adjusting steps.
Smooth out your stroke – Slow it down and focus on fluid movement. It doesn’t have to be hard, it just needs to be smooth
Watch the ball intently – Track it from your opponent’s strings all the way to your contact point.
Take deep breaths – Ground and calm yourself by focusing on steady inhales and exhales.
Lastly, engage your mind – If needed, strategize tactically, but only after you’ve reset your physical foundation.
This approach helps you move out of your head and into your body, creating a solid foundation for both mental clarity and peak performance.
“When things get tough, mindfulness is like resetting your internal compass, your ‘north star,’ bringing you back to center.”
“You have to be able to center yourself, to let all of your emotions go. Don’t forget that you play with your soul as well as your body.”
“Meditation applies the brakes to the mind.”
Miss plus ones is missing the first ball
“Meditation is simply about being yourself and knowing something about who that is. It is about coming to realize that you are on a path whether you like it or not, namely, the path that is your life. Meditation may help us see that this path we call our life has direction; that it is always unfolding, moment by moment; and that what happens now, in this moment, influences what happens next.”